Ups and Downs

It's all about the ups and downs in our lives and how we react to them. I'm in the middle of several people's lives and am on the outside looking in, trying to take what lessons I can, helping where I can, and not getting sucked in too deep wherever possible.

On the up side, and there are a few up sides in my friend's lives, my friends that came to my Celebrate Recovery meeting last week and this week are doing really well. They spent the night last night (not recommended if these aren't people you've known a VERY long time when you consider that we're dealing with addictions) due to the complications involved in seeing they're children today. I took them up this morning and, aside from no power at the house I dropped them off at due to a wind storm last night, all went off with very little trouble. They did have a couple of downs throughout the night, turns out their camera's memory got wiped accidentally and they lost a bunch of pictures of their children. I thought that got handled fairly well, attitude wise. The other thing I won't disclose at this time without permission and more information, so you'll just have to wait.

Then there's another friend who is in the middle of a REAL down time. Complete relapse that is causing him to lose his job, his girl, his apartment, and quite possibly his freedom. This one is more complicated because, while it's easy to be involved when things are going well, when things go in the toilet, you could get sucked down in the flush if you're too close. I'm trying to be his friend, but at this time he isn't calling back or responding to my texts so there's only so much I can do for him. Last time I talked to him he was sober, it was 7:15 a.m. and he was checking into inpatient care to dry up. Lord we pray that he was able to find the help he needs and that he doesn't respond to my calls because there is no contact allowed there. Amen.

But there's danger in being too involved when things are going well, too. When the bad time comes, whether it be relapse or what, as another person in recovery, you need to insulate yourself somewhat to keep from being pulled down with the other person. This can easily be construed as being 2 faced or not being there for them when they need you. But you have to remember that they didn't call on you when they were at the top of the spiral and be honest with you that they had slipped up or thought they were about to. They most likely hid it or washed over it. Or if they were confronted with it they may have blown you off, not wanting to listen to you. By the time someone is in full blown relapse, and maybe they're drinking or drugging every day or nearly so, there is little you can do to help them. Maintaining contact is something you can do so you are there when they really are ready to climb up, but aside from that, it's up to them.

It's the part of free will that God gave us that we abuse. We can save no soul that doesn't want to be saved, and we can free no addict that doesn't want freedom.

There are others in my life that I want to help, some will let me, others won't. There's some that will let me help them for a while and then when I don't return a call or respond to a text they'll assume that I'm not there for them. They couldn't be more wrong, I have the Holy Spirit on my side and through Him all things that are right and just will happen. There are and will be times that I'm not as close to Jesus as I should be, that's when my own selfishness and ego seem to take over for a bit. At those times, I find it more difficult to be there for others, but I know that is the time I need to work twice as hard, and read twice as much of the Bible. When God tested Job, Job felt the distance of God in a way that I hope I never do. But he never railed against God, he never lost his faith in the everlasting Father. I can only pray that I never lose my faith and understanding even in the face of great danger and hardships that will come.

Ups and downs will come in all our lives, as is the natural ebb and flow of being human. Sometimes the down times are of outside influences, like a job layoff or the death of a loved one. Sometimes they are of our own making, drinking, drugging, sexual immorality, or anger issues. The difference is in how we react to them. Will we be like Job? Steadfast faith in God, not unquestioning, but never wavering. Or will we be like Judas Iscariot? In a moment of weakness giving in to selfish desires at the expense of others only to feel the pain of remorse later for our misdeeds. Job lost much. His entire family killed in an earthquake that brought their house down on top of them, his business in financial ruins, then terrible, potentially disfiguring sickness. Throughout the entire ordeal, he questioned God, but he always revered God. If you know the story, you know that God rewarded him greatly for his faith and Judas Iscariot hung himself, having never even spent his 30 pieces of silver.

So, if you are someone that is putting your faith in another person, be aware, they will fail you. Not intentionally, not with anger or childish feelings, but out of their very humanity. There is only one that will never fail you. I will continue to be there for my friends. If the person that relapsed calls and wants my help, I'll be there. If the ones that I dropped off this morning call, I'll be there. If the one that thinks I'm ignoring her when I didn't answer my phone (I'm betting it was when the phone was off and charging, the battery is almost 2 years old and failing) calls, I'll be there too. I'll do my best to do the right thing for each and every one of you because not only would each one of you do it for me, we have been told that the world will know us by our love for one another.

Be forewarned, I'm still human and sometimes I'm the one that's down. But I will be there to the best of my ability.