Funny thing about us, we've been programmed since birth to prove ourselves to get our self-worth. We need that respect that comes from being acknowledged by our peers, our families, our church family.
I've bounced around a few ideas for tonight, but it came to me while I was sitting in service Sunday morning. Our pastor was talking on the Apostle's Creed, which we've been working our way through for several weeks now. We've been disecting it, line by line. Examining it's meaning, and why it was written. Sunday was about the Resurrection. He brought out someone to play the part of Thomas. Doubting Thomas, the one, when faced with the Risen King, had to put his hand in the spear wound in Christ's side, had to see the nail wounds in His hands. He, above all who witnessed, needed proof. What many don't know, is that after he got that proof he went further than all the others to spread the Good News. He went all the way to India!
This got me to thinking about my own need for proof in myself. Not proof of the Lord, He has given me the Holy Spirit. No other proof is needed. I guess I'm going off on a tangent here. What I'm really thinking about, is my need to prove myself to others. To feel validated in the eyes of others. It's just so rediculous. I have worked so very hard to impress my boss about how good I am at work, my wife how good a husband, my son how good a father (he probably doesn't see that now...), my parents how good an everything. I've even found myself striving to prove to my church family how good a Chirstian I am.
Seriously? Aside from Christ Himself, who can live up to all that? The stress and strain I've put myself under are WAY too much. I have the love of a God who numbered every hair on my head before I was born!
Luke 12:7 "Indeed the very hairs on your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid, for you are worth more than many sparrows."
God loves me so much, he sent his only begotten Son to earth, down into time, to live among us, to teach us, to die for us. To be risen on the 3rd day to break the barrier of death and pave the way for my eternal life! He now sits at the right hand of God and rules heaven. He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell with me and guide me in this world so that I may be a light unto the world for Him! I'm worried about proving myself to who? His love for me proves me. Just as it proves all Christians that follow Him. I don't have to prove how good a worker I am. As long as I'm following Him, I cannot fail. With His love, I am a good husband, son, father, worker, Christian! With His love, I can conquor my cravings, habits, and hang-ups.
When you follow Jesus Christ, everything is exactly as it should be. Not always easy, but always as it should be. I couldn't follow Christ with a drink in my hand, or with a bottle of pills, or with a joint, or with speed. I can follow Him with a clear head and a heart that has been purified by His everlasting love. My work life will go according to His plan, if that means I lose my job tomorrow, so be it. It will be hard, but we'll make it through to the next step he has for me together. To the best of my knowledge, I'm not losing my job tomorrow, but I have to have faith that He will see me through it. My homelife will go according to His plan. My extended family life will go according to His plan.
I have no need to prove myself to others. Jesus has seen my greatest flaws, my darkest secrets, my greatest shame and He still loves me and wants me. How can the validation of anyone else come close to comparing to that!
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